The Best Mother's Day Gift. Ever.

When my daughter, Elizabeth was a toddler, I always marveled at the speed with which changes would occur. There were times when I would put her down for a nap and when she awoke, she could perform a task that would have been impossible for her to perform before she took the nap. It was as if switches were turned on in her little brain while she slept. I can still remember the day that she was walking up the steps into the living room, chattering away, and I realized that she no longer had the baby lisp. While I knew that I would miss the stage that she had just left, I always looked forward to the new stage that she was entering. With Elizabeth, a new stage never failed to present a new challenge and learning experience for Mom!

Of course, as she grew older, the changes and stages slowed and were so much more subtle. Change now involved choices rather than physical skills. Seventh grade stands out in my mind as the year she had to make the choice with regard to the type of friends she would have. She chose wisely. In high school, her choices included marching band and theater which were extraordinary for both of us. Some other choices were not good. Some caused a lot of stress between us. We weathered those storms and we both learned.

In college now, Elizabeth lives in Columbia year round. She is still making good choices and accomplishing wonderful things: school work, friends, activities, job. And I thought that the changes were pretty much done. And I was wrong.

For the past several years, we have spent Mother's Day engaged in some sort of outdoor activity with the dog. The first I can remember was a hike around Lake Haigler at the ASC Greenway in Fort Mill. Two years ago, we hiked along the Saluda River in Columbia, SC.
When I saw a story on the Internet about the Cherohala Skyway in western North Carolina I thought it would be a great place for us to spend this Mother's Day weekend. On Sunday, we would drive to Tellico Plains, TN and stay overnight at the Lodge at Tellico. The Lodge welcomes dogs! On Monday, we would drive the Skyway, hike a little, see waterfalls, take pictures. When I asked Elizabeth about it she said, "Sure Mom, anything you want!"

She called me a few days later and asked me if I could take an extra day off from work for Mother's Day. When I asked her why the response was, "I have all the arrangements made. I just need you to get the extra day. It's a surprise." I said I would try. I was able to get the extra day and called to report my success. Curiosity getting the better of me, once more I asked what we were going to do. Again she responded that it was a surprise but then said, "Oh Mommy, you know I can't keep a secret. I know how much you miss her so I am going to take you to Philadelphia to see your Mother for Mother's Day." I can't recall what I said. My Mother is in a nursing home. She suffers from senior dementia and the situation is very difficult. I miss her dreadfully in so many ways. I was amazingly touched and very close to tears. And then it hit me. Another lovely, subtle change has occurred. My little girl has become a caring, thoughtful, loving woman. This was a gift of love and sacrifice (she had to take time off from work too); it was a gift of time.

We spent 3 lovely days together driving to and from Philadelphia. The visit with my Mother was wonderful. We talked and laughed and she enjoyed our company. It was a joy to see Elizabeth with her Granny. While Mother may not remember our names, we know that she knows that we belong to her. We had great visits with my brothers and sister, visited Elizabeth's Grandmother Dugan. But the best part was as we were driving up Highway 81 in Virginia. Elizabeth reached over and patted my leg and said, "I miss you Mom." My heart swelled as I realized that as much as I was looking forward to spending time with her, she was looking forward to spending time with me. That realization still brings tears to my eyes. This trip, this time together, was the best Mother's Day gift. Ever.